Spring Cleaning my Prayer Life

You know how people say, in reference to new mothers, "When the baby sleeps you sleep"? I am not a new mother. Or an old mother, for that matter. But I think the same phrase can be used in my situation: "When the night-shift-pulling-RCMP-husband sleeps, you sleep". And now, as he is out protecting our friendly neighborhood, I'm wide awake and pondering the irony of a verse I read just this morning:

"I will lie down and sleep in peace, for You alone, O Lord, make me dwell in safety." -Psalm 4:7 (NIV)

Plus, I have a really big dog sleeping on the floor right next to my bed :) My little intro...now for a completely different topic...

Lately, I've been thinking a lot about my "going to bed alone" prayers. As long as Jamie has held the job he has now, I've had the same prayer every time I have to crawl into bed alone while he's out on a night shift: Keep my husband safe. Bring him home to me. Have you ever noticed the selfishness that often creeps its way into our prayers, disguising itself so that we often don't even recognise it? I've started to ask myself just one question in reference to my prayers:

For whose Glory?

Of course I know what the answer SHOULD be. Would I cherish my husband's safety if he was required to deny his Lord to ensure it? Would it be worth him acting in a way that dishonored God in order to ensure that he would return home safetly at the end of his shift? This applies not just to my prayers regarding my husband's safetly on the job, but to every part of my life! Why do I even desire something if it's not for His glory? Well, the obvious answer: because I'm human. I'm flawed.
Undeservedly, but thankfully, I serve a God who has no plans to leave me where I am, but rather waits patiently for me while I stumble around and make a really good mess of things, only to realize that I simply don't have the power to improve myself all on my own. And then he molds and shapes and corrects and shows me that only in his power can I begin to improve my selfish attitudes and oh-so-limited-perceptions.

I've changed my prayers. Obviously, my husband's safety is still a very large part of my prayers. But at the forefront of each is my prayer that God will be glorified in every decision, every action, every word; remembering that this life, as much as we may cherish it, is not all there is; this is not our goal.

This is not our prize.


"So whether you eat or drink or whatever you do, do it all for the glory of God. Do not cause anyone to stumble... For I am not seeking my own good but the good of many..."
- 1 Corinthians 10:31-33 (NIV)